Wednesday, 23 June 2010

Oh Chocolate

I'm hungry and I need chocolate. As everyone knows there are certain times in a woman's life, diet or no diet, where only chocolate will do. Don't get me wrong, chocolate will always do - but sometimes ONLY chocolate will do and this is one of them!

Trouble is I'm at least 5km away from the nearest chocolate - yes, I have searched every cupbpard and every filing cabinet in the office and there are no stashes hidden away. Trust me, if they were here I would have found them! And I'm not going to leave work to drive 5km to the nearest petrol station to buy some.... no really I'm not! But I admit I thought about it.

Actually the nearest petrol station is only about 5 minutes walk but in this heat it would be melted before I got back! Hang on, who am I kidding? I'd have eaten it before I got back!! Anyway, the road layout here has been planned by dyslexic trainees thowing spaghetti at a map, and in order to drive to the petrol station I have to drive 3k in the wrong direction before I can get to a u-turn to go 2k back! And then do the same thing in reverse to get back to work!

So I'm just going to have to deal with my obsession and try to feel smug that I'm resisting the urge when in reality I'm just too lazy to go out!

So just to add to my pain - here's 20 reasons why chocolate is better than sex:

You can GET chocolate.

Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.

You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.

You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.

You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.

If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.

Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.

The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.

You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your work mates.

"If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.

You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.

With chocolate there's no need to fake it.

Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.

You can have chocolate at any time of the month.

Good chocolate is easy to find.

You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.

You are never too young or too old for chocolate.

When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.

With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always good

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